Intro. This here thing. Here.
Originally aired: 29 March 1969.
-Ketina
—
H = Historian
K = Ketina
R = Ronelyn
Sp = Spoo
EG = Elfgrrl
P = Photobug
A = Altair
E = Ezio
Cz = Cz
K: What was the point of keeping Sorba alive that long?
E: I’m still not over “argh! I fell on my keys!”
P: Or tacks.
<Spoo looks at the Historian, and blinks>
H: I’m just going to say this Spoo, and you probably won’t believe me, but this episode was much better than the last one.
Sp: Oh god! Well, that was certainly something that we did for 22 minutes.
H: I already used that line a couple of weeks ago.
K: Anyway, there is still the issue of why they killed off Sorba. He was the only Space Corp witness that all the bad guys were bad, and now he’s dead. So there’s no one left to believe that the Doctor and Clancy are good guys. Now it’s just an us verses them. What was the point of reintroducing Sorba at all?!
Sp: As Historian would say, apparently that is a way of ratcheting up the tension.
H: Don’t put words in my mouth!
Sp: So, as someone who missed the last two episodes.
P: I wouldn’t say I missed ’em, Bob.
Sp: As someone who was not present for the last two episodes, I have to say, this was damn near impenetrable. I mean, besides attack of the accent, and attack of the soundtrack, there was a good… I dunno, nine or ten minutes of this episode that felt like eaves dropping on air traffic control, with all of the drama and tension you would expect from eavesdropping on air traffic control. I don’t know how anyone could come in on this episode and be anything but lost.
<Ketina & The Historian attempt to sum up>
Sp: Nope, still lost.
H: So, one thing that I was confused by, until I vaguely remember some incredibly boring conversation that the general and evil corporate lady had a few weeks ago, was the whole camoflague nosecone thing. I was like “what the hell are they doing” and then I remembered, oh yeah. That’s what that was about.
K: Yeah, I did follow most of the plot, but that part I was lost until you reminded me just now.
<further discussion of space cozies>
P: I think we should call it the spaceship beard.
H: I got it! It’s the hairmet for the spaceship! I mean, evil corporate lady has all her people in hairmets, so it makes sense that her spaceships has them too.
Sp: So I want to make sure that the write up has captured our growing list of descriptions and euphemisms for the nosecone thingy, including spaceship beard, spaceship hairmet, spaceship cozy, mosquito nose condom…
P: That’s to prevent blood born pathogens.
Sp: Which was my punk band’s name in college, but I digress.
EG: I have the perfect name for the spaceship hairmets – Shairmets!
Sp: Please note that this conversation has been more comprehensible and interesting than this week’s plot.
P: So what you’re saying is that they lost this one on purpose?
Sp: Possibly.
H: I will say, I think there was about a third of a fun episode here. Everything with the Doctor and Clancy, just as with every other episode of this story, was kind of fun. Everything with the Space Corp was deadly dull.
P: Except the models.
H: Except the models. Are you guys with me on this?
Sp: Yes, the Space Corp stuff was remarkably life-like. Restful, even.
EG: I wasn’t paying attention. Actually, I wasn’t paying attention… I couldn’t pay attention. That dull.
H: But did you like the Doctor and Milo Clancy?
EG: I don’t know.
P: Did you like the lesson on electricity?
EG: Maybe?
Sp: Where the Doctor stone cold murdered a guy! To buy time!
K: That was rather ruthless and out of character for him, I thought. That was worthy of Colin Baker or late Matt Smith era Doctor.
<brief discussion of the ruthlessness of various Doctor incarnations>
K: Anyway, out of character for Troughton’s Doctor.
EG: As they put it, they said it was a trap. As you put it, it was murder.
Sp: Hey, we’re only one Doctor was away from just a simple “Hai!” <karate chop> They’re all bloodless murderers in their own adorable way. It’s telling actually, in the late series, that the War Doctor is the restrained one.
H: So, anyway, getting back to it, did you guys agree that the stuff with the Doctor and Clancy was relatively fun.
K: If going from mildly entertaining Doctor Who to snorning boring background plot, then yes.
H: I just like Clancy. I can’t get away from that. He’s the thing that makes this story bearable.
K: Bearable? I suppose.
H: We’re getting through it.
K: If we were watching more than one episode per week, I’d be sleeping through it.
H: As would we all.
K: I’m just glad this is the final reconstruction.
P: I still think they lost this one on puropose.
<laughter>
H: Believe it or not, there are people out there who claim to like this story.
P: That may be true, but some people like pickeled raspberry roots. But that ain’t normal.
H: No argument here. So, I wanted to mention that apparently this script got confused by Jamie’s kilt, because he was the one who twisted his ankle, not Zoe. Yet, almost immediately he was able to walk on it, unlike Susan or Vickie, or any number of female companions who have spained their ankles. It’s like the script suddenly remember, oh yeah, he’s a guy.
K: So, what was the point of the ankle thing? At least it progressed the plot when other ankle sprains have happened on Doctor Who.
H: I think you answered your own question. There is no point.
K: It wasn’t even funny. This story is stupid.
H: Except for Milo Clancy.
K: No. All that pointlessness happened on Milo’s watch!
<discussion derails>
K: Are we ready for final thoughts?
E: It was not awesome. Except for the part where he fell on his tacks. But that wasn’t awesome either.
A: I got distracted by my Skype halfway through the episode, so I missed half of it.
Sp: Wait! Didn’t you say a varient of this three episodes ago?
A: That wasn’t Skype though – that was just day dreaming.
Sp: Oh. Okay then.
K: Photobug?
P: Well, I guess if you’re going to think about reconstructions, you probably shouldn’t think about this ones, because the others are better.
R: It’s not the recon’s fault.
P: True.
Cz: I did not watch this episode.
K: You were in the room, though.
Cz: No man. I may have physically been here, but I wasn’t here.
EG: It basically stinked, like a rotten…
P: Egg!
EG: Rotten…
P: Egg!
EG: Rotten…
P: Egg!
EG: Egg!
P: Elfgirl!
EG: <just giggles> But the part that I understood, that I liked, 50% or 70% out of 110%.
H: Which part is that.
EG: A couple parts. I don’t know.
H: She’s as confused as we are.
K: Got it. Spoo?
Sp: Right. Ronelyn? I’m going to cede the floor to you, so you can catch up.
R: Let me see. What was it he said “The day that the rickety old miner in a rickety space hopper can outrun the finest battleship in the Federation” my immediate thought was “We’ll know that we’re in a Doctor Who episode.”
H: It’s funny because it’s true.
P: Remember the TARDIS?
R: And I may rusty on my rickety old space miner lingo, but I’m pretty sure, “if that don’t beat jumping grasshoppers” isn’t a thing.
<laughter>
P: It makes me think of Annie – leaping lizards.
Sp: I’m just impressed that you could follow what he was saying in the first place.
R: My dad was an alcoholic Texan, so…
<oooh>
R: I could go on, but I’m invoking the mercy rule.
K: Do you have something now, Spoo?
<Discussion derails to the Super Bowl for a while. Again… Serious derailments this week. Clearly we were not, in any way, impressed by this episode of Doctor Who. And let’s just leave this at left shark!>
K: So, before I post this, are there any more final thoughts? Spoo? Historian?
Sp: Did this episode have a shark costume in it?
H: No.
P: Maybe.
Sp: Then I don’t care.
K: “It stinks!” Historian?
<Now they’re talking Super Bowl commercials… seriously folks>
K: Historian?
<random conversation continues>
K: Historian?
Sp: Meanwhile, in 1969!
H: Alright. So, the way this story is going, for me…
R: This story is going?
Sp: Give him a chance.
H: The even numbered episodes have been less sucky.
R: Ah, the Trek maneuver.
Sp: This week’s episode didn’t have a whale in it!
H: So, I have some hope for the eventual, if we can make it there, conclusion. Because six is divisible by two. Leave me my hope, please. Leave me my hope.
Sp: Next week, on Doctor Who “Jamie, what would god want with the TARDIS?” But maybe we could get Zoe doing a fan dance in the desert.
—
NEXT WEEK: THE SPACE PIRATES PART 5: The undiscovered pirates.
