The War Machines episode 4 discussion:
M = MisterMother
Sp = Spoo
H = Historian
R = Ronelyn
Cz = Cz
Max = Max (special guest)
SG = SpookyGrrl
P = Photobug
M: In this corner, weighing in a 750 tons it’s the War Machine. And in the other color weighing in at 70 lbs
Sp: Wet. It’s The Doctor! Let’s get rrrrready to MUMBLLLLLLLLLLLE.
H: Okay. So, first of all, let’s welcome our special guest Max, making an appearance all the way from the East Coast. Everybody say hi max.
Everybody: Hi Max!
R: So many things to say. So many funny things.
Cz: Can we rewatch the scene with the man and the machine and the death?
M: The Bill Murray scene?
Sp: The part where the scientist tries to save Wotan with his butt.
H: It’s like he started to die a little too soon and missed his queue, realized he missed is queue and turned around…
M: And go sprayed in the butt.
Max: Speaking of ass, man I forgot how big an ass the Doctor was again. “Oh, Polly, she can die. Whatever.”
H: To be fair, he just met her a few days ago.
M: He’s been left by so many women.
H: I’ll be flying with Dodo, but I’ll be thinking of Barbara.
Sp: He was too busy trying to end the story. “Let’s see, when Plot meets anti-plot the story cannot survive.”
SG: I figured out why the War Machines move so slow. They’re trying to dial up. They’ve got a cord to drag, and they’re all BEEP BEEP.
H: 28-8 baud.
Sc: I was sort of pondering the experience of the Doctor Who machine operators at this point. Gone from Daleks to Chumblies to Giant D20s and now War Machines. So they’ve had at least four of these things with little people running around in them.
H: The Daleks had full sized people.
Sc: They’re probably small full sized people.
K: ?
Sp: And that one War Machine heading out on the highway. Looking for adventure.
Several folks: And whatever came its way.
H: The thought that came through my head, the way the footage looked “War Machines – in Color!” Ala Police Squad.
M: I did notice a significant upgrade to the War Machines. They can now do tables and trash cans.
Sp: Radios, computer banks.
SG: But thick rope stumps them.
H: No, it was a magnetic field that should realistically wipe the programming entirely.
Max: They did call them coils. Not that it made a bit of sense. Giant magnetic field with people nearby could not have been good.
H: Did Sir Charles say it was dangerous?
Max: Thus proving Sir Charles was the smartest guy in the show.
H: You didn’t see the rest of the episodes.
Max: True.
Sp: Nice bit of groping of Polly, again, by PopEye.
R: I thought he was the eye candy.
M: No, he’s too skinny.
SG: What happened to Dodo?
Sp: She was sent out to pasture. I’m not kidding. She was sent out to the country after being all hypnotized and stuff.
R: I know these were actual real things, but I was still intensely amused at the mention of…
M: Wombat missiles?
R: Yup. Wombat missiles.
M: Also the Doctor was in full coot mode in this episode.
Sp: Yoda Who in full effect.
M: War Machines not make one great.
R: When eleven regenerations you reach, look as good you will not.
H: So, continuing the thought, watching the episode I thought it was interesting because it looked like there were parts where they simplified Hartnell’s dialog, and he still managed to mess it up. Especially his explanations of magnetic fields. You could tell it was intended to be simple and concise and make sense, but the way Hartnell said it, it didn’t make any sense at all.
Sc: You might be giving too much credit to the screen writer there.
H: From what it I understand about the changes to the scripts on the floor at this point, I’m not sure I am.
R: The magnetic field will ah, inflate like a balloon. And something bad happens.
P: I just imagine, since this is in England, that all their teeth will just fly out because of the field.
M: Why didn’t he reprogram the first one they found?
H: I have a theory.
Max: I have one too.
H: My explanation is that the machine had not been fully or correctly programmed….
Max: That’s it! And so it did not have the necessary information to turn back and do the massive attack and butt attack on the Wotan.
K: And spray graffiti all over it.
Sc: Why did the second machine freak out and smash its radio.
R: I can explain.
Sc: So, the second machine wasn’t correct either.
R: They were programming it over the radio and one of its directions was “turn 60 degrees left, go forward, and strike.” and that’s where the radio was.
M: except it turned right instead of left.
K: So that was the bug, it didn’t know left from right.
M: It did this <holds up both hands showing “L”> and got confused.
R: It was an unsigned bit field.
Sp: There were build problems. The first War Machine didn’t compile. The second didn’t make it thought BVTs. And the third one was just trying to do smoke tests.
<The realization is made that 90% of the people in the room have been former software testers>
H: So also of course in this episode, we saw the confusion between machine 3 and machine 9. So, we can confirm that the Covenant Garden machine was machine 3.
P: None of the vehicles outside had their radar dishes rotating.
H: Nice catch.
Sc: The short person had to pedal and turn the handle at the same time.
Sp: So, the Doctor was rather abrupt with Sir Charles. Basically accusing him of being army people. Strong arm issues and all that.
H: Which makes a change from earlier in the story. He kept telling him not to send the army in, yet it turned out to be the right thing to do.
R: I could still have argued with the Army’s tactical approach.
P: No turning radius, it’s a Yugo!
SG: You mean it only has forward, a really bad turn radius, and all of its weapons were in the front. You could have just tipped it over.
M: The Doctor disabled it with a toothpick.
H: If the Doctor disabled it with a toothpick, it’s a Mac. You stick the toothpick in and it reboots. It all makes sense now!
P: If it was a PC it would shoot out a floppy disk.
Sp: So, were the news readers all hypnotized too, or were they just bad actors?
R: They were all American!
H: The one who was on television is accurate. That’s the way they read the news. But the guy in the news center was supposed to be American and he was calling his New York newspaper.
R: In a very exaggerated…
SG: And bad way.
M: There was an inappropriate moment in the background of the news room as well.
H: And we’re not talking about the fake looking backdrop.
Sp: Alright, historically accuracy check. It came out in the year…
H: 1966.
Sp: How aware would the general population be with how computers worked in the first place?
H: Punch cards were being used.
M: Computers existed in the 60’s. My grandmother knew what they were.
H: Did she know how they worked.
M: She had a box full of punch cards.
H: Well, I guess she did. But the general public didn’t generally have an idea.
Sp: So, point is, the whole “we’ll reprogram the machines to attack their master thing” might seem hokey to us, but at the time it was high tech stuff.
M: It wasn’t hokey, it was inevitable.
Sp: Potato Potahdo, Wotan Votan.
SG: So they invented technobabble before Star Trek.
P: So, they haven’t said to reverse the polarity yet.
K: Just wait. Doctor Who invented that line.
H: In Star Trek that was an homage to Doctor Who. Going back to an earlier point, this episode did have a nice little basic instruction to how computers work. Sir Charles explains how computers are only programmed to do what they do – which is contradicted with Wotan of course, but in general computers can only do what they are programmed to do.
P: Isn’t the downfall of computers due to self-learning computers.
SG: No, it’s usually when computers realize that people are dumb.
H: Well, Skynet has been active for 14 years.
M: We’re all in the Matrix, dude!
Sp: Final thoughts?
K: Isn’t that the Historian’s line?
Max: Man, I love bastard Doctor. As someone who loves a certain book series (Virgin New Doctor Who Adventures) a little too much, I forgot how much I enjoy the first Doctor and how he reflects the attitude that he really doesn’t care about the humans all that much.
R: Out of my way monkey, I’m making tea!
P: Did anyone notice the Doctor bang his head in the scene where they get the hypnotized guy? And he just continues the scene? I thought that was indicative of a lot of this Doctor. It’s caused by the fact that they don’t go back and reshoot, but it had a very “Ed Wood” feel to it.
H: It also had a very live theater feel to it.
M: I was intensely disturbed by the “Sir Charles’s back” segue. They cut to black and then to Sir Charles’s back. It was just disturbing, I don’t know why.
Cz: I liked all their crazy camera angles. I thought it was HIP!
SG: So, one, um, worse War Machine evar.
Sp: You weren’t here for the earlier episodes. You didn’t build the relationship that the audience had.
SG: I was here for the construction episode. But, um, the Doctor Bret, I think it was at the end, we just thought he talked like that because he was hypnotized. But apparently now, he’s just that dull.
P: Well he’s a computer programmer. Of course. Oh wait, that’s me.
SG: As a scifi person who grew up with these types of stories, it was good to see the start of things. How this show ended up affecting all of the shows we grew up watching and all of the scifi from there on out. It was part of the beginning of things. And I still want to totally rock out with William Hartnell at the Inferno.
H:Was it totally a bummer that when they cut to a pub during the attack they didn’t go back to the Infero.
SG: Because the Inferno didn’t have a TV.
M: And they would have had to bring that bartender actress back.
Cz: What the hell happened? This had interesting shots, it took place in places that were cool. And people were walking places, talking and walking at the same time. Driving – oh my god they had cars. It was GOOD! It was the first good episode I’d seen. It was updated. It felt like people knew what they wanted to say, like as a statement. It seemed more up to date.
H: It was the first story really set in the present day.
Cz: The other stories suck. They all take place in a swamp. Or in a very small room and a swamp.
H: They weren’t all written by Terry Nation.
Sp: Ascots! Ascots as far as the eye can see. Nation be with you!
P: This story kind of moved us into a little bit of live action blocking. There were a lot of blocking, action scenes, people crouching behind poles – that were going to fall down anyway – taking cover and all that. Stagecraft.
H: I agree. This had the most action staging since maybe the end of the Chase.
P: I think that whoever is doing it is different than who did it before.
H: It’s the same director.
M: They had a budget for location shooting.
K: Maybe he took a class.
R: I’ve just returned from community college and I have an idea!
M: I just saw this thing – it’s call cinema.
P: Anyway, I think that it’s obvious to the viewer that this change had occurred. It’s not just subtle. Maybe it was the end of the year budget, but it shows promise for what comes next.
M: Carrots hanging on a post.
H: What?
M: You didn’t see them? In every scene of Covent Garden there were carrots hanging on a post. It’s just a stupid little detail that was there in all the episodes, and I don’t know why I fixated on it.
Sp: I yield my time to Schmallturm, so he can do a proper elegy for Dodo.
Sc: So, what did Dodo do? She got hypnotized. What did Polly do? She got hypnotized. And you guys were always hating on Dodo, but what did Polly accomplish that Dodo didn’t?
R: Boobies?
SG: Really great eyeliner?
M: She fought the hypnosis enough to let Ben escape.
Sc: Well, how do you know Dodo wouldn’t have done the same? The fact is that they just replaced one cockney girl with another one.
Cz: Well, for one thing her name isn’t Dodo.
M: No, it’s Polly <makes bird sounds>
Max: There’s really only two companions that we never find out their fates – what happens to them. Dodo and Ace.
Sc: Dodo didn’t open the door into space and die.
H: She does, in fact, know what a key is.
M: I will concede that point. She’s far smarter than Katarina.
R: And she did have a brief period of time, in the Savages, where she was smarter than Steven.
M: Although, not necessarily a high mark.
Sc: My actual final thought – they killed the sympathetic scientist, and left Bret alive, and it was all his fault. Kind of an interesting choice I guess.
R: I agree. The poor guy gets shot and it was like “No, you were doing the right thing!”
M: There were a lot of innocent victims.
Sp: Remember from past episode, that gas can do like nine different things. Maybe number 9 just stunned him. Put him in a coma.
K: No, the Doctor said he was dead.
H: At least it didn’t set his boxers on fire.
<groans>
R: Hopefully this will be the last time we have to see the episode title sequence with the drum roll and symbol crash! It just seemed really dorky to me. I felt like I was watching an old Electric Company show or something.
K: I feel like this is a good pre-curser to the Unit stuff we’ll start to see next season. Particularly the Doctor’s issue with the army. The lines with Sir Charles resonates with many of the scenes with the Brigadier.
H: And there’s also the line “I never carry fire arms” earlier in the story. Clearly wrong, but still fun. So, my final thought, silly as a great deal of the story was, it was also a lot of fun. And it really is a harbinger of things to come.
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