Hello everyone, the Historian here, welcoming you back to real-time blogging! Yes, for the first time since 2011, this entry will be posted shortly after the TARDIS Project team watches the episode in question! The team this week being myself, Ketina (my ever-present Companion), Ronelyn, Spoo, MiniSpoo, Photobug, Altair, Ezio and Cz. Thanks for joining us!
Still no summary (maybe someday), so I’ll just say this episode is available on the “Lost in Time” Troughton set. Seek it out, if you haven’t already! This episode was originally broadcast on 11 May, 1968. Now, let’s get to Ketina’s transcript!
H = Historian
K = Ketina
R = Ronelyn
Sp = Spoo
MS = MiniSpoo
P = Photobug
A = Altair
E = Ezio
Cz = Cz
R: [Frankenstein’s Monster voice] Errrr… Controller Angry! RAR!!
P: Oh my gosh, Cybermen.
[laughter]
H: Well, it was a surprise last week.
K: I could understand the Cybercontroller, or whatever that was, but I had a really hard time understanding most of the Cybermen’s lines.
H: It’s odd, but I thought the Cybercontroller was harder to understand.
P: I agree with Ketina.
R: Interesting that the Cybercontroller sounded more like the last generation of Cybermen that we heard.
H: I still think that that’s my favorite Cybermen voice. But I will point out that you guys had a hard time understanding it back then.
Sp: I’m so glad that this is moving pictures this week.
Everyone: Yay!
Sp: Wiggly lines! Wiggly line! If it wasn’t moving pictures we wouldn’t have gotten to see the Cybermen’s wiggly lines trick.
H: They probably would have CG’d it in.
Sp: It wouldn’t have been the same.
R: It seems like the Australian censors cut an awful lot out of this episode.
K: These jokes are getting really old. We’ve made the “really good recon joke” and the “Australian censor board joke” SO MANY times. I declare a moratorium on these two jokes for the remainder of the Project. Readers, you’re welcome.
Sp: Now back to me. Since when could the Cybermen do the wiggly line trick?
A: Why did they stop doing it? [in the 70s and onward]
R: They sent away for hypnoglasses from the back of a comic book.
H: Okay, the hypnotizing wiggly lines are new. The electricity wiggly lines, however, were in a previous episode. We commented on them during the Moonbase.
K: So, worst death scene EVAR.
A: Yeah.
Sp: Yeah, he’s like some kind of pirate mime slowly getting squished in a plastic box.
R: It was a the claw hand thing that he did.
H: The idea made sense.
R: But the execution – sorely lacking.
P: Nice. I got your pun there.
K: I didn’t at the time, or I wouldn’t have typed it. I’m sure this is not THE WORST death scene we’ve seen so far in the Project, but that was pretty terrible.
[Conclusion that this, does not quite, beat the death scene from The Ordeal. I can’t believe we remember that.]
Sp: As far as acting and scenery chewing goes…
R: Rar! Controller Angry!
Sp: Exactly. I’ve never heard somebody make an appeal to steer a conversation towards logic and facts with such and angry, angry voice. All while dismissing emotion…
H: Logic and facts. Which reminds me that this episode has one of my favorite Troughton lines and one of his most quotable as well “Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.” It’s another one of those lines that everyone, when they do a Troughton article, quotes.
R: Ah, there was so much good in this episode, and so much bad.
Sp: [mechanically] What. Was. Some. Of. The. Good. Ronelyn?
R: Well, I really liked the guy interacting with the Cybermat. The other guy – the one who could act.
H: Bill Duggan.
R: I can imagine myself being in the same situation. “Oh, you’re a cute little guy. Oh, you have killed us all.”
Everyone: [laughter]
R: And some of the scientific mishmash was actually quite good. The bit about Relay Lines and Brewster Mirrors. No idea what those actually do, but it sounds perfectly plausible.
[brief discussion of my typoetry]
H: So I have a question for everybody, and I can only ask this because I’ve seen this story before, but I’m interested in your thoughts. Have you guys been able to follow the Cybermen’s plans at all so far? In this story.
K: I think so.
Sp: Narp?
R: Yeah. So…
H: You understand why I’m asking this, guys.
Sp: I’m under the impression that it consists of no less than five “phases.” Which really, when you think about it, you could probably divide any activity into at least five “phases.” Phase one: I ate something I did not recognize early this evening…
H: I don’t think we want to continue with this train of thought.
Sp: [Cybervoice] Phase one complete! [normal] Okay, you can tell by all these digressions that…
R: The plan they come up with is absolute madness. This ranks up there with the Dalek Invasion of Earth. “We need a spaceship. Let’s steal a planet!”
K: They’re going to throw metorites and the Wheel, right?
H & R: [heave deep sighs]
R: Did you happen to catch how they were going to throw meteorites at the wheel?
K: No, because I couldn’t understand a friggen word they said. The Controller said meteorites, that’s all I got. And there’s a sun exploding?
R: Yeah. That’s how they’re doing it.
H: And that’s not all.
R: Did you catch why they’re throwing the meteorites?
K: Apparently not.
R: To scare some guys into going across to the Rocket Ship.
H: And the reason the guys have to go across to the Rocket Ship…
K: So they could mind control them?
H: Is because the Cybermen sent the Cybermats to destroy the Berillium, which they happen to have of a store in the rocket ship, so they could lure them onto the rocket ship. And that’s the end of phase four. How many damn phases does this plan have?
K: And how were the humans even to know there was Berillium on the rocket ship?
R: That’s beside the point entirely. The point is.. the Cybermen blew up TWO SUNS so that they could get some guys to go look at a space ship. In a four phase plan.
H: Of at least five phases.
R: So, as I said, this is right up there with “we need a space ship. Let’s steal a planet.” These guys are the “Underpants Gnomes.”
H: I think they have a plan that involves getting to “Profit” it’s just a ridiculously convoluted plan.
Sp: You’ll notice in all of this we are not saying word one about nearly ANYONE on the Wheel in Space. That, I would like to think, is not because we’re early in the recap, but simply because there are no things to say.
H: I think there are things to say. I think the banter between Leo and Naneena (what was her name in this one? Tonya?) was pretty fun. And I liked Doctor Corwin. And Zoe was fun.
Sp: Zoe does not count as being on the Wheel.
H: Why not?
Sp: The same way that the Doctor and Jamie do not count as being “on the Wheel.” She is, not entirely, a “Wheel person.”
K: P.C. glow and all that. [P.C. = Player Character verses NPC = Non-Player Character]
R: Zoe has a bronze swimming certificate in pure Mathematics.
H & K: We talked about that last week.
R: I was just kind of amused at the way she bragged about it this week.
Sp: And Jamie’s… half hazing… half…
A: Jealous.
Sp: Hitting on her…
R: No.
Sp: It was just weird.
R: It’s got a simple explanation.
H: They need to establish her character? The way that Leo’s dissing of her is also establishing her character?
R: No. It’s a very simple message “Stay away from my man!”
Sp: It’s too soon?
K: It’s certainly a very different relationship than what Jamie had with Victoria. But we’ll probably talk about that…
H: Later in this story.
Sp: [Gives Historian a look]
H: I’m being good.
Sp: I just didn’t find anybody that wasn’t “our heroes” or a Cyberman or someone being slain by a Cyberman, or Cybermat, to be all compelling.
H: I liked Duggan.
K: Me too. And the flirting. The little gay flirting!
H: What little gay flirting are you talking about?
R: The creepy guy in the control room.
H: It wasn’t flirting. He was just having a joke at the expense of his commander. Never mind – when confronted with slash it’s just best to smile, nod, and walk away.
K: But, it was odd. The commander guy has a… not exactly a tiff, but a joke with his girlfriend. And the guy at the control station gives him a look. And it totally LOOKED like “ooo, I wonder if I can…”
H: Not to me at all.
A: Not me either.
R: But there was a weird leer to that. I can chalk it up to bad acting.
Sp: I know what I chalk it up to – I have a hard time explaining this, but there is a very specific way that that part of the scene was directed – camera angle, pauses, time that they cut to next scene – that felt very much like office sitcom or 60’s-70’s sitcom sort of pacing. The visual language of the scene described it as being the way the Historian and Altair saw it, to me.
K: I know that, when filming it, they certainly didn’t mean anything gay by it. But if you saw that same scene in Doctor Who today?
H: No, I’d still see it the same way today as I saw it.
K: [shrug]
Sp: So, was it me, or did there seem to be a bit more felt around the fringes of the Cybermats in this one, compared to the last time we saw the Cybermats?
P: You mean the teeth?
Sp: No, the scrubbing bubbles effect.
R: I agree.
H: I think they might have been a little bigger too.
P: Yeah, me too.
Sp: Still cute.
R: Not as cute as Chumblies though.
H: Nothing is a cute as Chumblies.
[Chorus of Chumbly noises and various other running gags.]
H: Are we ready for final thoughts?
Sp: Sure!
E: Effects aside, it was a very good episode. I much enjoyed it. Particularly the witty banter. Then again I’m a sucker for witty banter.
H: David Whittaker! Known for good dialog.
E: I look forward to more of it.
A: I really liked the style of the station. We didn’t really get a feel for it in the recons, so I thought it was pretty cool.
P: I kinda got lost in the story because I forgot that the Doctor and Jamie came across by space suit. So when he started the episode by not allowing them to shoot the space ship I forgot why.
K: Interesting result of the week long gaps we do between episodes.
P: Yes. So the story… I was following it but not really remembering what motivation Jamie had. As for the Cybermats I agree they’re bigger and the teeth are fuzzy, if they’re teeth. And I really enjoyed the reaction by Bill Duggan to the Cybermat.
H: “Hey Billy Boy!”
E: “Oh, it’s so cute. It’s going to kill you.”
Sp: “Oh, it’s so cute. And I’ve never seen it before. And I’m in an hermetically sealed environment.”
E: “And it can’t possibly be harmful.
Sp: Exactly.
R: “I wonder if it will be friends with me?”
H: Anymore?
P: Not much in the sound front this time. But I did think this set where they had lots of people on it showed good activity. I was entertained by just watching the pictures. It was good eye candy, basically.
K: I’m going to miss the moving pictures for the next two week. Almost. Almost done with recon hell.
MS: Well, I love how it began with the Cybermen coming out of egg-look things.
H: Okay.
MS: Yeah.
K: Did you watch any more of it?
H: I know he watched more.
MS: Yup.
H: Do you have anything else to say?
MS: I do not know why Jamie put in this instant plastic on the laser beam.
H: Right, you weren’t here last week. The TARDIS was on the rocket that they were going to destroy. So he had to stop them from destroying the rocket.
MS: Oh. Okay. Now I know.
Cz: No.
H: You watched it.
Cz: No, I didn’t. There was a great scene with a man dancing and spraying the Cybermat with pudding. And that’s where I stopped.
H: That was over halfway into the episode.
Cz: That was where I began and was where I stopped.
K: You came in at the totally wrong time.
Cz: I think I came in at a great time!
H: Moving on. Spoo? God help us.
Sp: I decided to excuse myself and perhaps find a copy of the New York Times or USA Today. That… was phase two.
H: [laughter]
Sp: In the business we call that a “call back.” If we could take the action and plot of last week and the motion and space station set design of this week, we’d have what the kids call “a ripping yarn.”
MS: What?
Sp: Okay, what the other kids. The “not my” kids call a ripping yarn.
H: Don’t worry Mini-Spoo. No kids call anything ripping yarns.
Sp: The Doctor still seems to be…
K: On vacation?
Sp: Mourning the loss of his companion, given how short he is being with Jamie. And the… well let’s face it… “standard companion interview” he’s giving to Zoe.
Nearly everyone (except Ketina and Ronelyn): WHAT?
H: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sp: Oh for Christ Sakes! It’s as plain as the nose on Naneena’s face!
H: You mean her nose for trouble? That nose?
Sp: Yes. That nose. Um, what else? I liked the spray plastic.
K: Yeah. That was cool.
Sp: Not only as a concept, not only as a plot element, but from a simple direction and staging point of view.
H: Hurray for shaving cream.
P: I think it’s spray insulation.
A: They wouldn’t put that on a prop.
Sp: It was the 60s. Actually, where I was going with the staging is that it’s always good for a giggle in a TV show when the character turns to the table or bench full of prop bottles and containers and the ONE bottle that has a label is a) a clearly seen enough label you can read it on TV, and b) exactly what they’re going to interact with. It’s as if he was playing of those…
H: Point and click games?
Sp: Yeah, point and click games.
H: Anything else?
Sp: Remind me when the Doctor has two hearts?
A & K: Yeah.
H: First time we see anything about that is Spearhead from Space. He’s been physically examined multiple times over the course of the project.
P: Because the second heart doesn’t grow until the second regeneration.
H: That’s actually a fan explanation. My personally take on it is Doctor Who and continuity do not belong in the same sentence.
K: They wrote a book on it.
[discussion of Doctor Who continuity, or lack there of]
Sp: I do want to give the station folks props for actually keeping the Doctor and Jamie…
K: [laughter]
Sp: UNDER GUARD! No, the stranger that just drifted in cannot wildly wonder around the station solving problems.
P: But Jamie was already in the most critical room in the building.
Sp: They were distracted by asteroids and flirting and noses and rocket sounds. You guys.
H: But yes, they did manage to keep them under guard, and keep them in the room. I see where you’re going with that. “I’m sorry I don’t care if there was some kind of scream. You’re staying in here.”
K: “Some kind of scream from the pit of hell” as I recall. So, Ronelyn?
R: Cyberman plan for getting a glass of water: phase one, destroy all life on a planet, rendering it a sandy wasteland.
MS: Phase two find a better base. Phase three, why are we doing this?
R: So, phase two, collapse the star in such a way that it creates a massive X-ray laser, fusing the planet’s sandy surface.
H: Oh, he’s making the glass. The Cyberman’s making the glass.
R: Exactly. I think you see where I’m going with this.
MS: Phase four, have lunch.
R: Phase three blast away the remaining atmosphere from the sun…
H: So the corona.
R: Yeah. Phase four, restart the fusion process with the remaining sun elements.
H: So you’re making hydrogen and then you’re waiting for the heavier elements like oxygen.
R: Yup. Phase five, pour.
H: [laughter] And that’s simpler than the plan we’re seeing now.
R: I rest my case.
H: Moving on.
K: My turn. How do I follow that one? First, I really appreciated the moving picture on this one. I’m VERY much looking forward to the end of recon hell… despite…
H: You’re looking forward to the Dominators?
K: As I about to say, despite the Dominators.
[brief comment about the Dominators may or may not being a good story]
K: This one bounced between good and silly, but overall very entertaining. The only bit that bothered me with having trouble following the Cyberman dialog, and that may be more an issue with the audio than anything else. I hope the pace keeps up for this six parter. Which is now our average size of story for the rest of the Project, so I better be used to it.
H: We are now into the home stretch.
K: So I’m enjoying these as much as I can.
H: I can dig it.
K: Your turn.
H: Oh, it’s me? I like the characters, for the most part. I like the dialog. I try not to think to hard about the Cyberplan. But I’m enjoying the story and I’m going to leave it there, because otherwise I’m never going to have a final thought for the next three episodes, because I’m just going to say the same thing basically over and over again.
—————-
And that’s it for this week! All things going well, this is the beginning of a trend in on-time posting. As a note, I’m currently working on the story wrapup for “The Celestial Toymaker,” which will be backdated, so you’ll have to dig back into series three to find it. I hope to have it up by early next week…and I’ll continue trying to catch up as we move forward. But for now, I remain
THE HISTORIAN
NEXT WEEK: THE WHEEL IN SPACE, EPISODE FOUR
