Hello everyone, the Historian here, with another episode of this, um, story. I’m refraining from the jokes because there will undoubtedly be many Gond puns below. I apologize in advance for our Krotonous sense of humour. Oops! Let’s get to the episode! This episode first aired 11 January 1969.
H = Historian
K = Ketina
R = Ronelyn
Sp = Spoo
P = Photobug
A = Altair (silent this week)
—
H: That’s a great cliffhanger.
Sp: You can tell it’s a cliffhanger because he’s got cliff all over him.
P: It’s not a cliff hanger, it’s a cliff faller
H: Yeah, Phillip Madoc, another great name in Doctor Who history in a mediocre story.
R: He was eelek-trifying.
H: He may show up again during the Project.
K: So, I took down the names of all of the Gonds of note. We had:
Abugond – dead guy
Varna – catatonic girl
Thara – Son of council leader guy
Eelek – Rebellion guy
Selby – Council leader guy
Beta (pronounced Beeta) – Reasonable sideburns guy
H: Reasonable scientist sideburns guy.
Sp: Reasonable sideburns guy sounds like a “They Might Be Giants” song title.
K: So, a couple of notes. Tellurium is totally a real thing.
H: Yup. But apparently she got the atomic weight slightly wrong. She was off by something or other percent.
Sp: I trust her calculations.
K: Maybe the weight’s different on different planets.
P: Um… no.
K: The atomic weight. Different number of protons. I do have a degree in chemistry, believe it or not.
Sp: <clears his throat> NEEERRRDDSSS!
K: We’re watching classic Doctor Who on a Friday night. What?
P: And blogging about it.
H: To no one!
Sp: Yet. There will be many readers in the future. The blog itself is time traveling. So, I was with this one. I liked some of the direction… I’ll get to that in a moment. The pace picked up a bit. My bar was set really low, but how sleepy the last episode was. I was doing great. Until their heads spun!
K: <giggles>
Sp: Yes. Yes, that’s right. Giggling is the correct response. Their faceless heads spun in place. There are no words.
H: It’s actually a relatively clever plot, when you get down to the plot itself, rather than everything around it. The problem with this story is not the plot.
P & Sp: Budget cuts!
H: Well, that and kind of an over leisurely script. Because the plot… the idea of this mineral based creature that puts itself essentially to sleep by disassembling and lays a trap for intelligent life, which powers its entire technology, is pretty cool.
K & Sp: Yep.
H: It’s just the execution that’s a little pedestrian.
Sp: Well, I’ll compliment one step further and note that the characterization of all of the different factions amongst the rebellion people…
H: Gonds.
Sp: Yes. The “bipeds” were very efficient in their dialog and their screen time.
K: Yet they were acting so wooden… very good posture at least.
Sp: But, they got around it because their dialog and cutting back and forth between 3 or 4 different groups, make it so that you didn’t have to put up with any one actor at a time for too long. It hangs together better than it should, given how…subpar the acting is. And how rampagingly silly the Krotons are, as a costume design.
K: I love the skirts!
Sp: Great idea. The skirts and the Robot from “Lost in Space” hands, and the rotating heads…
P: Which is pretty cool. I wonder if it tripped up the actors inside of it.
Sp: So, yeah. This hangs together really well, and is probably one of the stronger third episode of a four episode things that I’ve seen in quite some time. You could almost just come in on this episode and be pretty well set.
K: It did clip right along. Again, no filler, which is nice.
P: I really enjoyed Jamie experiencing the moment of “oh, no. They’re not going to leave me, are they?”
R: Jamie had several fun moments. My favorite was when the Kroton said “you are useless” and Jamie had this look like “Bitch, you don’t know me!”
Sp: Actually, come to think of it, the Kroton thought that this <more convincing Kroton voice> “lower brain biped” was SOO useless, he was just going to kill him later.
H: First mistake!
<laughter>
R: Never participate in a land war in Asia?
<general laughter>
K: Another observation. The HADS. We’ll see this again… in about 40 years. 2013 season with Matt Smith.
<discussion of references to future episodes>
Sp: What are all the other points in the episodes that we’ve seen in the project where the TARDIS was directly attacked, whereby all rights the HADS should have kicked in. Ketina? Historian? Go!
H: It’s interesting that, in this story, we don’t have the idea that the TARDIS is basically indestructible, like in previous and future stories.
P: <looks up references to the HADS online> TV episodes…in addition to “The Krotons” it was referenced in “Time and the Rani” and “Cold War.”
K: So the camera angles…
Sp: <sings theme from the video game Doom>
K: Were terribly nauseating in HD. I was getting so dizzy.
R: Yeah. Did we really need to see stock footage of a colander stalking around a Welsh quarry.
H: It worked with the Dalek cam. But not so much with the Kroton.
R: With colander cam.
H: It also didn’t help that they were doing this in a mostly featureless quarry, so your eye had nothing to focus on. Which is why Ketina started to feel dizzy.
R: They didn’t have all of the experience with First-Person-Shooters that would have taught them to sprinkle the area with crates.
<laughter… more Doom theme>
P: I get the feeling that the TV watcher back then, probably the parents were feeling nauseous, and the kids were fine.
<discussion of what TVs they had back then. General agreement that HD does not translate well with that direction choice.>
Sp: What was chemist guy’s name.
H: Beta.
K: The pronounce it with a long “e.”
Sp: I actually liked cheemist guy’s portrayal because I choose to interpret his wooden acting as conveying the despair of a scientist realizing that he is spoonfed all of his facts, and he is resigned to a life of boredom and tedium.
H: I agree with you, except I didn’t find his acting to be wooden. I thought he was one of the Gonds best portrayed.
R: Siligond.
H: I love the part where the Doctor suddenly gives him something new to learn, and he gets excited. That’s just fun.
P: I liked the part before that…
R: Where he’s bored?
P: Where he’s saying “War the Krotons? Free yes… dead no.”
Sp: Yeah. That stuck out as an example of how efficient a lot of the script was in going back and forth between the different factions between the Gonds.
R: “We can’t do that, they’ve Gond crazy.”
H: Like I said above, we apologize. Anyway…
<interrupted by even more terrible Gond puns. You’re welcome.>
H: Getting back to the script…I’ve been thinking about how this feels different than a lot of Robert Holmes’ future Doctor Who stories. He’s known for really fun popular stuff, and this story…
Sp: Isn’t?
H: Isn’t like those stories. It’s not up to his later standard. And, I think I’ve put my finger on why?
K: Budget cuts?
H: No.
Sp: He Gond it all out of his system?
H: NO.
Sp: Your point, and you did have one?
H: All of his other stories, in addition to having the cool plots and good characters, have a lot of good humor. From supporting characters as well as the regulars.
R: Ah. Intentional humor!
H: Yeah. I don’t want to go into details because…spoilers. But this story has some humorous moments for the TARDIS crew, and everything else is deadly serious. And that just doesn’t feel like his work, and it doesn’t flow like some of his other stories do. Does that make sense?
K: <nods>
<discussion of later Robert Holmes stories>
H: Anyway…are we at final thoughts?
<general agreement>
P: I find it funny that the word Dynotrope refers to the entire ship…or Kroton machines.
Sp: Instead of?
P: I mean, now-a-day Dyna means dynamic, and Trope means something different to us.
H: Doesn’t it mean something? I feel like I’ve heard that word before.
<and half the room Googles Dynotrope…and I’m probably spelling it wrong.>
R: Dynatrope references…it’s a growth hormone and a Doctor Who thing. And nothing else.
P: I liked Zoe’s acting and lines this week. She did say “we can’t leave Jamie behind” and also “I feel like we’re in a giant mouse trap.”
R: And she said science stuff.
P: Yeah. I found the direction navigation by home base requirements to be a good plot point. I think perhaps even the Krotons suffer from budget cuts.
R: <laugh> <Kroton voice> “Your vision is impared. I cannot see.>
Sp: Hang on. They made a minor point… the Doctor made a minor point, that the reason one Kroton was calling out co-ordinates to another was because its vision probably blew from being in the dark so much. And yet their command center had all of these monitors in it.
P: Light emitting monitors.
Sp: I just infered from dialog that they were essentially blind. But they can’t be because of the monitors.
H: The Doctor and Zoe were saying that it had to do with the level of light because it was much darker inside the ship than outside.
P: See kids, sitting too close to the TV will make you blind. Mom was right. And me likey this episode. Looking forward to the wrap-up episode.
H: Alright, Spoo.
Sp: <spins head around>
K: You’re making me dizzy.
Sp: I’m making ME dizzy. Not much to say. Wooden acting. I’m basically summarizing the whole episode in mime over here.
P: <gets up and starts walking like a Kroton>
Sp: Not enough skirt. Anyway…it was a nice change of pace that Jamie’s original escape plan failed utterly.
R: Brave attempt though!
Sp: Oh, definitely. Kept the Kroton talking, because apparently Krotons don’t have an inside voice. No wireless communication. No commands… not even just quiet contemplation. Just, no filter. They just say everything!
P: Maybe they’re 3 years old.
Sp: Maybe. But, yes. Jamie made a brave attempt, but it was nice to see that the “turn the bad guys weapons against them” trope…
P: Dynatrope!
Sp: Well. Didn’t work.
K: That it?
Sp: <thinks> And actually, the Gond rebellion plan was…actually pretty decent. Apart from the whole standing right under it thing.
K: <laugh> I only laugh because I know the Doctor will be okay.
Sp: Oh, of course. Yeah…that’s pretty much it. Can’t wait for next week’s installment. Weight of the world on his shoulders…or Gond in 60 seconds.
H: I was going with “Gond with the Wind” but that’s fine too. Ronelyn.
R: <Kroton voice> “Dew nawt keil the boypids! Woi noid theiah moinds!” <translation: Do not kill the bipeds. We need their minds>
H: That it?
R: Yup.
K: Okay. My turn. Redeeming qualities – this story is short. A lot of you already mentioned some okay parts. This is… this season is not, but any means, the strongest season of Classic Who.
P: Why do you suppose that is.
K: Budget cuts?
P: In serious?
H: Partially budget cuts is certainly part of it.
P: It’s not bad acting, right?
H: Some of them are. On the one hand, we have the Dominators and the Krotons. On the other hand, we’ve had the Mind Robber and the Invasion, which were both really good. I think the Invasion is up there with some of the best of the project.
K: Yes, true. I guess inconsistent season then.
P: There’s still clearly a sense of experimentation of this episode to me. An example: the walking camera.
H: Which they’ve done before in Dalek stories.
P: But, I think this season is more than just Xenophobia. These two stories that we’ve just mentioned are exactly that. In the past we have seen favorable alien races
<Discussion of good and bad aliens that we’ve seen>
P: This storyline has started with a new culture that had been repressed for the last 1,000 years, and we were discovering it, and that’s what made the story interesting. We were rooting for the underdog. But, in this episode it’s just devolved into “this is how we’re going to fight them.” It’s clear that it’s going to come down to chemistry, and do you understand what sulfur can do. And I gotta say, for a kids show, that’s kind of nice.
K: But we barely see the Gond culture. Bad machines, stupid necklaces…
H: They talk about it more than they show it.
K: Exactly.
H: Which, to be fair, is about all they really can do. Although the discussion in this episode by Beta, about how science has been spoon fed to them, is pretty cool.
P: Which in itself is a clever way to say that science is not just about the facts, but the process to discover them.
Sp: The ideas were good. And, I think the presentation was okay. I see what the Historian means about talk more than show though. Because, like Photobug said, there’s this whole repressed culture, and all of those implications, but what you see on screen is monster of the week.
K: Yep. And there’s my point.
Sp: You’re welcome.
K: It just feels like a weak episode.
Sp: Wacky arm waving head spinning guy!
K: Okay, Historian. I think it’s to you now.
H: I love how they very economically convey the idea of nonscientific people in a repressed culture having no concept of how primitive they actually are. “Slings and fire balls are major weapons! They will conquer everything!” I suppose it could be a commentary on nuclear weapons and cold war, but probably not.
Sp: More likely a commentary on hammers.
H: I liked some parts of this episodes. Specifically the stuff with Beta and the stuff with Jamie. Like I said last week, episode 2 still has my favorite parts of this story. Everything pales compared to the Doctor and Zoe with the teaching machines.
R: Haha! I beat your SAT scores!
H: But the stuff with Beta comes close. Still, I won’t be terrible sad to see this story end, I think. One thing about this episode that I want to point out, before we end – this is one of those stories that Troughton did that people have seen. It’s been in existence since the 60’s. In it Troughton uses the phrase “oh my giddy aunt.”
R: Once.
H: I think it comes up again later in the season, but I can’t remember. But because everyone has seen this story, and because Terrance Dicks used it once in the Five Doctors, for decade people believed it was Troughton’s trademark phrase.
K: And not “I would like a hat like that?”
H: He stopped that after the third story, but yes. It’s just funny how the random survival of stories can influence our entire outlook on things. Which is one of the reasons this project is so great, because it takes the randomness of the survival out.
Sp: <Doctor voice> “Great googly moogly! These Gonds are as dumb as rocks. Wait. Rocks! I’ll defeat them with this bag of rocks. The Krotons, not the Gonds. Zoe, help me collect these smelly, smelly rocks.”
H: “Will it work? We’ll find out…next week! In…”
R: “Between a rock and a hard place. Or: Buried under Gond!”
—
And, as I almost always seem to say, there you have it, another episode down. Only one more to go in this story–how will it end? Well, feel free to watch it along with us and read the discussion next week! And feel free to contribute your own comments and silly Gond jokes! Until then, I remain
THE HISTORIAN
NEXT WEEK: THE KROTONS EPISODE 4
